Trying to start posting over here again…

(Source: growingupfilm)

I had an idea for a project. A “three people…” thing. Anyway, here’s the first one. 

Small town?

In a coffee shop with Bryant. Two of my ex-boyfriends are also here, along with one of their ex-girlfriends. Who I think went to high school with the other ex-boyfriend.

I think that’s sort of charming…? Maybe I’m weird.

I was driving to work this morning, eating a bagel and singing along to “Fergalicious”. It got to the part where she says, “And they be lining down the block just to watch what I got,” and I sang it, too— through my mouthful of bagel —and had this weird moment of clarity about who I am.

I don’t remember if I ever posted this here or not.

My weird little sentimental summary of my job for the past eight-ish years.

Today is sort of my last day at work. I had made all this peace with The Last Day and how it was the day before my birthday, and Bryant’s last day, too, and we’d start off our new life next week.

But I’ve been asked to come back next week or the week after or some time to do some more work that I don’t particularly want to do. So that makes me feel like there’s not really an appropriate time for hugs and goodbyes and stuff. It’s also just been a really weird ending, anyway. People petering out one by one all week, and rumors and dumpsters and notes on DVD extras.

Sometimes I want the big farewell, and sometimes I want to sneak out the back door when no one is looking. This feels kind of like an awful combination of the two.

Today’s outfit.

It’s my last week at my job. There have been a lot of weird and awkward and sad moments, but I think the weirdest one came today. It’s a transitional time at the company, so lots of strange stuff is going on. There’s been a huge dumpster in the driveway for a few days and not only is it full, but there’s a two-dumpster sized pile of other trash sitting next to it. Me and a few coworkers watched from the second floor today as the dumpster got emptied, and just talked about how much of that stuff shouldn’t get thrown away. So much cardboard and paper just getting smashed up that should’ve been recycled, but also some iffy stuff like beta tapes and film and huge chunks of metal. The sort of laziness or carelessness of it almost made me want to cry. I can’t quite figure out if that’s a hippy love of Mother Earth, or just a bummer to watch the company just Not Give a Shit on such a big scale. 

But then we were asked to move all the pile trash into the dumpster so they could empty it again. So Bryant and I went home because fuck that shit.

I’m gonna say this here because it’s my own pouty corner of the internet.

Getting an email from a somewhat difficult client letting me know, “Sound makes a big difference!”

That is the sort of moment where I want to trot out my sound editing Emmy nomination and be like, “nah, dude. I get it.”

But then I remind myself that I’m going freelance and I need every crappy $500 gig I can get at the moment, so shut the hell up, sense of self-importance.